WRITING CHALLENGE DAY 2

Following is a short story I was to write for today's writing challenge. Today's challenge was to write a short story about someone taking a trip...

COME SAIL AWAY

(A SHORT STORY BY TRAYC FOSKETT FOR THE 7-DAY WRITING CHALLENGE ~ DAY 2)

You’re kidding, right?

You HAVE to be kidding!

WHAT do you want us to do?

My best friends, Miranda, Melody and Susan couldn’t believe what I was asking them to do. No. Scratch that. They wouldn’t believe I, the stable and serious Samantha, was actually taking a trip I had dreamt of taking my entire life and asking them to come with me.

To be honest, I couldn’t really believe it, either. I mean, when you spend most of your days looking for ways to save your company money and are constantly aware of how expensive things are you’re not the best candidate to plop down a chunk of change on a frivolous trip like a 21-day cruise to the Western Mediterranean. Every day I can be found in my cubicle looking at expense reports from James & Company’s massive sales force analyzing everything from the type of hotel they stay at on business trips to how much of their entertainment budget is truly necessary. If they order 3 glasses of wine with dinner I give them a red mark and send a wonderfully worded letter of warning insisting that next time they can stick to two glasses or find a new employer. When I’m at home I am usually looking for ways to cut expenses, too. I cut my cable bill by half last year, and who needs a home phone and a cell phone? Thankyaverymuch I saved big bucks just going mobile. I guess you could say I am frugal to a fault.

So why on earth would I spend thousands of dollars on a trip that wasn’t only uber expensive but also took me away from my source of income for three weeks? Probably because of what happened last Wednesday on my way to work.

Last Tuesday night my friends and I went out to celebrate Janice’s birthday. She was turning 29 and we wanted to celebrate the last year of her Terrific Twenties in style so we had all gotten together and had an old-school slumber party. I know, you’re thinking, “on a work night?!” YES! We decided to not wait until the weekend because when we were girls the best possible gift our parents could give us was to have our girlfriends over for a slumber party on a school night. Of course, that never happened, so we took matters into our own hands and had a slumber party on a work night. Thankfully we all have understanding bosses who won’t get too stern with us when we’re all yawning all day on the job.

It was a great party. We watched chick flicks, ate pizza and popcorn and made chocolate chip cookies. Okay, we made chocolate chip cookie *dough.* It’s not our fault those little balls of dough never quite made it into the oven! We laughed and talked and giggled like teenagers into the wee hours of the morning. When we finally fell asleep it was with smiles on our faces and the understanding that we had the best friends ever.

Wednesday morning we all got up and got ready for work. We were tired, but coffee and laughter helped us all. Since a few of the girls all worked in the same area of town they decided to carpool in together. I said my goodbyes, gave hugs and thanked them all for a great time before heading off in the opposite direction to the subway station.

When I got on the subway I ended up sitting next to an elderly woman who commented on how nice it was to see someone smiling so brightly in the morning. I smiled a bit wider and shared with her why I was smiling so much. We began to talk about friends, then, and something she said to me walked into my mind and started swaying to a melody I couldn’t stop hearing.

She was seventy-six years old and was returning to the city from visiting some of her best girlfriends who had moved away. They weren’t celebrating a birthday, but rather a death. One of the girls had recently passed away and to honor her memory they decided to get together for a girlfriend’s weekend. As she spoke of the years their lives had intertwined I was completely absorbed in the beauty of what she was saying. They’d been childhood friends and had grown up together sharing in the joys and sorrows of life over the years. They’d vacationed together with their respective families (never anything too fancy, mostly camping), and traveled to each other’s current cities to attend graduations, weddings, grandchild baptisms, and other big life events. One thing they had always wanted to do was to take a cruise together. Not just a week-long cruise or even a 21-day cruise, but to get on a ship and travel all the way around the world together. Now, though, her friend had passed away and the opportunity to ever do something like that would never be possible again. “Now,” she said, “I would give anything to have Phyllis back with us so we could take even that three week cruise of the Mediterranean that had started us all dreaming all those years ago. I’d give anything to have that chance. Life is just too short.”

I began to embrace the idea of a trip like that with my girlfriends. A trip when we were all still young and single and had every opportunity to take on that famous tag line, “Just do it!”

When I got to work I jumped into my tasks, but in the back of my mind was a part of a song I remembered my Mom singing when we’d drive over the bridge in my hometown and see the sailboats on the water. “Come sail away. Come sail away. Come sail away with me.” Pretty soon I was humming it as I crunched numbers, and by lunch time I was in full “I want to go on a cruise” mode. So I did what any good number cruncher would do.  I Googled “21-day cruises.” One of the movies we had watched the night before was “Roman Holiday” with Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck. We had all exclaimed over how great it would be to take a holiday to Rome, so of course the Mediterranean was our pick. I found a great deal…and the deal was done!

 At dinner that night I dropped the big question. I shared about Florence on the subway and the tears in her eyes as she shared her story with me. I told them all how much they meant to me and that I didn’t want to get to the place when we would have another slumber party to honor the life of one of them (or of me) only to regret not having taken that one big trip.

They may think I’m crazy asking them to take a cruise with me, but it didn’t take long for each of them to pull out their smartphones and look at the site with me.

We’ll be pulling out of port in T minus 60 days. 

All of me...the WHOLE me!

On February 7th I embarked on a new journey. I had been following some friends of mine last Fall when they embarked on the same journey and had the opportunity in mid-January to meet one of them for coffee at her house. I knew what the premise was of the journey. Understood the sacrifice it would mean. I did not, however, imagine how great the results would be!

Last Fall, October of 2012, was the first time I'd heard of "The Whole 30." It is an eating plan ~ a life change ~ that focuses on not only "healthy" eating, but "eating healthy food." There's a difference. Really. There is. It's like driving and riding...one is an action, the other is a passive action. To eat healthy you are aware of foods you're putting in your body. To eat healthy food you are not only aware of foods you're putting in your body, but also of the chemical makeup...the affect that food has on your body's makeup...the hormonal effects, etc of the foods you are putting in your body.

In the book "It Starts with Food" (ISWF) by Dallas & Melissa Hartwig I read things about food, information about my body and my life, that I thought I knew but really knew nothing about. It literally changed my mind about food. It also changed my mind about me, but we'll get to that later. On page 25 of the book they say, "We care about what is making us, here and now, more or less healthy." That was my first highlight. Many, MANY more have followed.

I had been eating a relatively "fine" kind of diet. I enjoyed a Diet Dr. Pepper every once in a while. I Thoroughly enjoyed my Salted Caramel Mocha creamer in my 1-2 (or sometimes more) cups of coffee each day. I ate healthy breakfast cereals and healthy sandwiches (ie: veggie sandwiches with no mayo), and I ate salads sans dressing because I wanted to enjoy the taste of my food and dressings were heavy (no matter what kind I used). I snacked on rice crackers and hummus and only indulged in french fries once in a great while...when I'd dip them in mayo. :) Yes, I know. I said I was following a *relatively* healthy diet. I did indulge, but not very often. Dark chocolate was my choice over milk or white chocolate, and Fro-Yo was my choice of frozen dessert while going easy on the Yo and heavy on the fruit toppings. Bread was whole wheat or pitas and on Fridays I thoroughly enjoyed eating Cheesy Pizza Bread from Little Caesars.

I was, however, at the least 50 pounds overweight and at the most 60 pounds over weight. I didn't "feel" fat, but I did look fat and it especially showed itself in my swollen fingers and face as well as a fat abdomen I couldn't get rid of and was the sure insignia of the foods I was eating. I knew, somehow, that when I pushed on my belly and I felt the muscles under a too thick, but.. not as thick a layer of fat as it would appear, that something was going on *underneath* my fat that was the source of the problem. I don't know that what I just said makes any sense other than to say I knew it wasn't just a "fat" problem.

In my early years I was never overweight. My mom used to get so frustrated because she had to pay the extra $2.00 for "slim" jeans because regular jeans in my size were too big and the size smaller was too short. I always had a poochy tummy, though, and even at 110 pounds and 5'1" my tummy was evident. I had no idea why ~ back then I thought I simply had to do more sit-ups and crunches. That would slim me down, but my tummy still stuck out...and that bothered me. Add three births to that body and about 7 years of real hormonal struggles after going cold turkey on an anti-depressant when I found out I was pregnant with the last one, and my lifestyle and choices were definitely showing in my outer appearance.

So come back to last October. My foodie friends ~ the ones God has blessed my life with to get me thinking about food in a different way than I was raised ~ invited me to join a group of them on Facebook who would be going through the Whole 30 during the month of October. I knew I wasn't ready (they were, too, but they're sneaky, those God-given friends! ;-) ) and they invited me and a few others to just go ahead and "lurk" while they went through it. I have to be honest here...(Amy, Marlene, Ronda...I apologize beforehand, but you know I love you deeply!)...many times my thoughts about what they were doing were more on the scoffing side than the encouraging side. I thought they were nuts! Seriously!! WHO, in their right mind, would give up sugar in the month of sugar ~ October ~ that would then lead in to the Season of Sugar ~ November and December??? Ding dongs!! Oh, and they gave up legumes and dairy, too. He-lllooooooo! I understood the giving up of grains (I have two cousins who have been diagnosed with Celiac and have gluten issues myself), but that included RICE? Whatevs. This made no sense to me.

Then they started talking about how good they felt.

And they started saying how amazed they were at the differences in their bodies and minds.

And I started paying attention to the recipes they were posting on the page and I have to admit that when I see "shrimp" and "bacon" in a recipe my foodie antennae go up. Add "Coconut milk" and "coconut oil" and I imagine myself in tropical heaven.

Fast forward to January when I met with my friend, Ronda, at her house. She opened the door and I could not believe how great she looked! She always looked good, but this time she looked really healthy and, well, for lack of another word, contentedly well-nourished. We chatted about different things for a bit and then I asked her about this "Whole 30 thing." It was as if I'd pushed the "theater" button in her. The excitement that came into her voice was contagious. She answered my questions about having to give up this or that (things other "low carb/high protein" diets require) and she'd say, "no, you don't have to give up that ~ if it weren't for such and such I couldn't have done it, either" (with proper grammar because she's an English teacher. HA!)

I left her house really intrigued by this "Whole 30 Thing." (that's what I called it then...now I call it "THE Whole 30!") I knew I was having trouble focusing my mind and putting thoughts together. No matter what time I went to bed I could not get going in the morning without my coffee (and then after hitting the snooze for a minimum of 45 minutes!), and no matter how hard I worked out I seriously could not lose the weight in my belly and the swollen fingers and face. I knew something needed to change in my life.

Here's the kicker, though. I knew GOD was calling me to fulfill His Plan in my life, and I didn't think KNEW I couldn't do that in the state I was in. In a very real way I knew I was sinning in my life by not paying attention to what I was doing to my body. I was fat, but not out of shape. I was fighting depression, but a joyful person. I was eating relatively healthy, but not healthy at all. I was NOT the person God had created me to be. All the other stuff? It mattered. I like looking good. I like being energetic and spontaneous. I like being able to sing and play and be active. It mattered, but it wasn't enough to change my life. Just because I like something doesn't mean I'm willing to give up other things I like to have it. (evident throughout my life by my finances, but that's another blog for another time...)

Ronda had lent me her kindle edition of ISWF and after the 1st chapter I had purchased my own copy for my Nook. I knew I'd want to share this with my husband after I'd read it. After going through and reading about the affects of food on our bodies page 35's highlight said this, "We're here to tell you: IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. You are not lacking willpower. You are not lazy. And it's not your fault you can't stop eating these foods." They go on to explain they're not saying we don't have responsibility in our choices, but because of the chemical makeup of the foods we ingest they make it hard to resist. I knew that on a cerebral level. I knew that when I craved white cake with the thickest buttercream frosting and I HAD. TO. HAVE. it....SOOOOON! that I was responding to the food and not the need, but, like any other hold in life, I didn't know the why of not being able to resist it. Thanks to Mr. & Mrs. Hartwig I began to unravel what was making up my dietary life.

It was because I read the book (and continue to read, I have't finished it yet because there is thought provoking information on it's pages), that I had no problem giving up Dairy, Legumes, Sugar and Grains. It wasn't a "piece of cake" if you'll pardon the pun, but seeing my *REAL* fingers the size they're supposed to be and seeing the almost immediate change in my face (that *I* could see and I knew others couldn't yet) I was hooked. I eat real food. I eat shrimp with peppers and zucchini and shallots and coconut milk with turmeric and cilantro. I eat eggs and sausage (not just any sausage ~ good for me sausage!) with my coffee con coconut creamer for breakfast in the morning. I have almonds and bananas and clementine cuties as snacks. After trying them and hating them last Spring I have discovered that Larabars are amazingly delicious and filling!!! I ate "Beet Chips" (like potato chips but made out of beets) yesterday and I thought, "this is what beets were made for!" I went to the beach with my family and our friends and while they ate ice cream I was completely content to eat blueberries with coconut milk "whipped cream" on them. There has been no deprivation, no feelings of "aw, I can't have that so I'm just going to give up," and definitely have not missed what I was living with 22 days ago!

Now, before you think I've been super good and never cheated, let me tell you about last Saturday. CJ, my oldest son, had his last basketball game of the season and afterward his coaches had white cake with thick buttercream frosting for the team. (Can you guess what my "kryptonite" is? UGH.) I had woken up that morning energized and refreshed (another great side-effect) but was tired of having to *cook* all the time. I was feeling like I wanted to be lazy...I just wanted to run through a drive through and get a coffee instead of having to get it at home, etc. Basically, I was having a pity party for my pitiful self. I was also feeling like this life-change (this has never been a "diet" for me...it's a change I'm making in my *life*) wasn't really making that big of a difference in me. So, of course, I gave in to a finger-full of frosting off CJ's piece of cake and then I had what was, quite literally, a  piece of cake the size of a domino. Not the size as in width, but size as in if you were to lay a domino beside it they would be the same size.

O. M. GOODNESS!!!

I was not expecting a reaction.

I felt an immediate headache coming on, my stomach was roiling all around like I had the flu, and my tongue felt like there was a layer of plastic covering it that I couldn't get rid of. I was amazed. OH. And my fingers immediately swelled up. I couldn't remove my rings. Hmmmmm....think there's something to this? Imma thinkin' so.

So here I am on the final countdown to the finality of The Whole 30. I am, as have been many others before me, entering this week with trepidation. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I may decide to continue it until Easter (do the whole Lenten sacrifice until then). I may decide to just continue following it with less rigidity in the plan. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I do, know, however, that I am REALLY glad ~ completely thankful ~ that God brought Dallas & Melissa Hartwig into my life through my friends and their website, Whole 9 Life.

One other thing I'm looking forward to? Weighing in and taking my 30 day measurements. I know I've had to go down 5 notches on my belt and I've lost at least one size already, but I can't wait to see what the numbers say!

Oh. One other thing I'm looking forward to? Seeing what God's going to do with this life I've given to Him and am now working at getting ready to fulfill His Plan in it. He's already opened a couple doors I am  amazed by, and He's showing me what my next steps in the business side of life are shaping up for. I am really excited to see what He's got in line for a life obedient not only to His offer of Salvation, but especially in obedience to resisting the temptation of unhealthiness, knowing that all things are edible, but not all things are healthy, and finally, living as if I've been redeemed and worthy of health ~ physically as well as spiritually.

If you want to know more, let me know ~ ask me questions. I may not know all the answers, but I'll be willing to share my journey with you. I really, REALLY encourage you to check out the book, "It Starts With Food." If you only read the first section and change nothing? That's okay ~ but I'll bet you can't. :)

Sorry for the super-duper long post, but if you've read any of my posts or know me at all you know I'm willing to share what I'm passionate about, and this is definitely something worth sharing. Have a great day!!

King V. Roe

It's interesting what yesterday and  today's dates signify. On one hand we have Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday. A man dedicated to freeing people no matter where they came from or the color of their skin. A man who saw the value of every human life. A man who was willing to die for something he believed in.

On the other hand we have the anniversary of Roe v. Wade. An anniversary of a decision in which millions (latest estimate is 53 million to date) of people have been sacrificed for the sake of personal gain. An anniversary that devalues every human life. An anniversary that has been willing to kill to make people believe.

I spent time yesterday reading through some of Dr. King's speeches. This man of God ~ a man of tremendous faith who knew that every life was valuable and worth fighting for ~ is a hero in our day. He is a man to be upheld and thanked publicly for the good he helped to bring about in our country. Every person, no matter their skin color or ethnicity, is a human being made in the image of God and therefore deserves to know the real beauty of freedom.

I have spent many days over the past 25 years thinking about Roe v. Wade. When I was in college, before I ever thought I would find myself in a place of having to make a "choice", a friend and I were talking about abortion and the girls we'd gone to school with who had made that choice. In all my self-righteous haughtiness I sucked in a deep breath, puffed out my chest and said, "Well! If I am *ever* in that situation I would *never* dream of having an abortion! I plan to wait until I'm married to have sex, but if I ever find myself in that situation I would certainly choose adoption!"

A short 6 years later I placed a phone call to Planned Parenthood asking what my options were.

I was barely pregnant ~ not even three weeks ~ but they said I'd have to wait another 5 weeks to abort but could make my appointment now. There was no compassion. There was no understanding. There was nothing but disdain for the fact that I would be so stupid and would need their services to hide my shame.

My boyfriend thought it'd be the right choice to make, although it did come out it wasn't what he wanted...just what he thought would be best for both of us.

I couldn't think of only me.

Every second of every day I thought of the life growing inside me, and I knew I could not ever make that appointment. I know friends who, although dealing with the same thoughts, made that appointment. My heart breaks for them when they tell me their story. Not because I think they were foolish and stupid enough to render the services of a multi-billion dollar industry. Not because I think they were weak and self-centered to make that choice. Not because of my own piety. No. My heart breaks because I know what it's like to be in that position and wonder how in the world your initial choice would ever turn into something good based on the position you are now in. My heart breaks because I know what leads to making that choice.

Last night a new series began. It is called "Surrender the Secret." It is a reality show that will follow five post-abortive women through a Bible Study by the same name. Here is the trailer for it:

I encourage you, whether you are post-abortive or not, to watch this series. There are women around the world who are holding this secret close to their hearts. For those who are Christians (yes, even good Christian girls make this choice) it is a secret akin to Hester Prynne in "The Scarlet Letter." They wonder what their fellow Christians would think of them if only they knew. There is a fear of how they would be perceived and how forgiveness could really be accepted for *this* sin. In a relationship with a Savior Who says, "Come to Me all who are burdened and heavy laden and I will give you rest" their greatest fear is how their "brothers and sisters in Christ" will respond if their secret got out.

Again...heartbreaking.

I could go off on such a tangent here! I find it to be a fine line between grace and justice, but for the sake of a soul I would rather err on the side of grace....

Watch this series with me ~ let your heart be troubled for those whose hearts hold burdens they should no longer be made to bear.

Watch "Surrender the Secret" Here

You Are

Do any of you journal? If you do, do you ever pull them out and look at what life was like 5, 10, 15 years ago? I recently had to have the hard drive on my computer replaced, and while I was going through my software discs to find the programs I needed to put on the new hard drive I ran across a disc that held documents from 10 years ago. My boys would have been 3 and 1 (or, in some cases, not quite born yet or just born).

I was rather convicted about something. It seemed that my heart was more tender, more creative, in the way it responded to what God was teaching me. I admit that I have an innate sense of wonder about me, but as I've gotten older and experienced more I also have to be honest and say that the luster has worn off on some of what I thought my life would be. It's not a bad thing. No. It's not a bad thing...because like a favorite leather briefcase or purse I have found that with the rubbings, the jarrings, the unexpected spills and falls and foibles there comes a warm and homey patina. To know my life has begun to gain a patina, if you will, is a blessing because it means I've experienced life and lived to tell about it so far.

However, sometimes a patina isn't such a good thing. Like when it means the luster has worn off on a relationship or your once-exciting-and-vibrant wash of commitment to something has dulled and become worn. Much like I realized as I read through some of my writings from 10 years ago.

I wrote a lot more poetically then. Maybe it's because my Mommy's brain wasn't able to focus long enough to write full sentences so poetry flowed more easily. Whatever the reason, though, I can remember what was going on when I wrote some of them. Like this one:

Freedom of Sweet Release 

Trayc Foskett 2003 

To know the freedom of sweet release 

Is to feel the chains of bondage cease 

To know the One who set me free 

Is to love that One for eternity 

To love like yesterday’s no more 

Is to find the love I looked for before 

To see the light in my earthly gift’s eyes 

Is to know what I once thought was truth is actually lies 

The evil one tries to keep me in chains 

The Righteous One comes and stakes me His claim 

Never again will I be bonded to death 

The One who saved me assures me of this 

To know the freedom of sweet release 

To know the Savior promises peace 

To know that forever with Him I will live 

Is to raise my hands in surrender and to Him my life give

I remember writing this. I was going through Beth Moore's "Breaking Free" study. I didn't realize just how much I allowed the chains of my past to hold me back from being who God had made me to be, but in going through this study at this time of my life ~ Bam was only a couple months old when I started and was already proving to be a handful and NOT a sleeper, The Hubster was traveling to the Coast Tuesday through Friday and only home on weekends, CJ was 3 and wanted so much of my attention, we lived even then away from our immediate families, and I was fully entrenched in the New-Mommy mentality of "how am I going to do this?" ~ I realized something more. My past and my inner struggles with who I thought I was supposed to be wasn't enough to hold God back from loving me. When I realized how deep and how wide His love and grace were, I couldn't help but write the poem above.

It's funny, though, looking back on these writings. Because the boys were so young and The Hubster was traveling so much I tend to think I didn't have time to do much studying and writing and such. Seeing these reminds me that no matter where we are in life, when it comes to what we are called to do, we will find time for it. If we don't find time for it we will slowly wither. If we allow ourselves to slowly wither for too long we shrivel. If we shrivel too much we die. From a Mom who realizes just how busy life can be and sometimes holds on to too much weight of the world on her shoulders may I say something to you? DON'T WITHER! Take the time to figure out what it is that you *cannot* NOT do! Remain vibrant. Remain alive. Seek your calling and, even if it means you do it in snippets, do it.

The next poem I found is just as relevant to my journey today as it was 10 years ago. I get scared sometimes. Scared that I might actually write something and have someone respond to it. Scared that I might share something I wrote and have someone tell me it's crap. Scared that I might not really hear my calling correctly...for a long time I thought it was to be a singer and my life would be filled with music at all times. I get scared that I might cause more burdens for people than helps and in my writing and thinking I should share it someone thinks I'm in it for me and not for the purpose of bringing hope to a hurting world.

I.

That's the problem word right there. It's when I realize fear is starting to overtake me that I have to step back and pull my focus away from that word.... I. Ninth letter of the alphabet. One letter = One word. Ownership. Self-centeredness. Pride.

When fear comes in and pulls us away from the work we are to be doing it's time to remember something...

Lord, You Are 

Trayc Foskett 2003 

I’m staring at this computer screen thinking 

“Lord, You Are” 

In my eyes they seem to be blinking 

“Lord, You Are” 

It’s the truth that I hold to 

When I don’t know where to go to… 

“Lord, You Are” 

You Are… 

Comfort to my hurting heart 

Calm to the anxious part 

Peace to my bundled nerves 

Protection from my angry swerves 

Direction to my scrambled thoughts 

Cleaner of all my sin-stained blots 

Rest to my weary bones 

Hearer of all my silent moans 

Keeper of my private dreams 

Deliverer of my fearful screams 

Counselor for my colorful past 

Reminder of what will truly last 

Savior of my unworthy life 

Bridegroom to this lucky wife 

Everything I ever could ask for 

Everything…and so much more 

So as I sit here at this computer screen thinking 

Of the things in me that seem to be stinking 

I will trust You for what You are doing in me 

To make me the me that You need me to be 

Knowing You’re doing what You’re doing for a reason 

In this time and in this season 

I will cling to three words that will help me go far… 

Three mighty words… “Lord, You ARE”

I don't know where you're at in your life right now. Maybe you're a high school student who is wondering where your future will take you. Maybe you're a college student wondering what the future holds. Maybe you're a Parent wondering what kind of world your kids will grow up in. Maybe you're a Grandparent looking back and seeing places you succeeded and places you wish you had done differently. Maybe you're single. Maybe you're married. Maybe you're reading this in English or having Google translate it for you to your native language. It doesn't matter who, where or what you are....what matters is Who HE is. HE, God Almighty, is the Great I Am, and that is what matters.

The other night I watched a concert for Newtown, CT and Max Lucado shared a phrase, "The Lord is my Shepherd." He at one time asked the audience what their favorite word was in that phrase. Many shouted out "Shepherd" or "Lord" or "My." Max laughed and pointed out that there really wasn't a bad word in the entire phrase but that his favorite word was, "IS." God IS...He isn't WAS as in past tense...He isn't GONNA BE as in the future...HE IS.

Cling to that no matter where your world is going, okay? Cling to the fact that you have been called to two things and only one of them is exactly the same as everyone else. What is that, you ask? It's to experience the Freedom of Sweet Release. To know WHO you are because you know WHOSE you are. The other thing is up to you and God to find out. The second thing you've been called to is your calling...your purpose...the reason you interact with the people you do and have the quirky-quirks about you that you do. Take the time to discover both of them and you'll be amazed at the joy that will bubble out of you.

IN closing may I hearken back to my Lutheran upbringing and leave you with a benediction?

Go in peace. Serve the Lord.

THE DOOR

The following is a story I wrote 5 years ago (that many!? OY!) and is one of my personal favorites. I've tried to space it in such a way as to capture the rhythm of the story, but the truth is, everyone will hear it differently as they read it. My suggestion is to take the time to put yourself IN the story...drink it in and put yourself in the shoes of both girls (you can change them to boys) in the story.

I'd love to hear your thoughts...I have many of my own about this one! Here you go...

THE DOOR by Trayc Foskett, 2009


Everyday she walked past it.

Some days she stopped and looked at it, others she barely noticed it at all.

But everyday she walked past it.

She knew it was there.

She couldn't deny its' presence.

She tried.

But it was obviously there.

One day when she stopped to study it a friend stood beside her and asked why she didn't just open it.  It was a door, after all, and doors were meant to be opened...right?

She looked at her friend with a look of resignation then simply answered, "it's locked."

"Locked?" Her friend asked, "Didn't you get the key when you bought the house?"

"Yes. It's hanging right there on that hook."

"Then why don't you open it?"

"Because...I don't trust it." 

"what is there not to trust?" her friend asked in dismay, "it's a DOOR!"

"Well, what's behind it?" she asked. It was actually more of a statement since she didn't really think the subject was up for discussion.

Dumbfounded her friend blurted, "You don't even KNOW?"

"Of course not. It's locked."

She stopped then and looked again at the door. She had done so many times over the years. The truth is, the door had been hidden by a bookcase at first. The locked door was too confusing, and it really disrupted her plans for the house, so she simply denied it's presence and placed the bookcase in front of it.

Not that it helped. She still knew it was there, and each time she walked by she got that uneasy feeling of curiosity and fear int he pit of her stomach. So one day she moved the bookcase again. Now the door was available...but it was still locked.

"What are you afraid of?" The quiet probing voice of her friend pulled her from her reverie.

"Oh. Uh, what? Afraid of...? Pshaw...I'm not *afraid* of anything."

"Then why won't you open it?"

As the question hung in the air like steam on a foggy night all the reasons she had told herself over the years came coursing through her mind.

*What if it's the door to a horrible event that occurred in this house ~ her dream home ~ and she'd have to give it up?

*What if it's a room that holds the promise of an overwhelming project of removing junk, cleaning out and restoring it's original beauty...or worse yet, a complete remodel?

*What if at first glance it seems to be perfect and wonderful, but as it is used more the flaws and disappointments become clear?

*What if, instead of a grand room, it ends up being a small and useless little closet?

*What if it's nothing?

It was that last question that really held her back. What if, after all these years of speculation, dreaming, planning and wondering it ended up being...nothing?

She didn't think she could handle it if that were the case. So she simply left it alone and lived in hopes that someday...someday she'd know.

Her friend studied her face as she reflected on what was holding her back. What she saw there broke her heart a bit. She knew where that door led. She had spent much time in the room beyond the door when her grandparents owned the house. She knew how beautiful and peaceful it was. She also knew that it was locked not to keep everyone out, but because the room was so special, so precious, that it was her grandparent's idea to give everyone who wanted to go in the choice as to whether to take the chance.

The key hung right beside the door. All anyone needed to do was grasp the key, place it in the lock, turn it, and accept the gift of beauty the room beyond offered.

The obstacle was getting beyond the unknown.

Her friend knew all this, and so she stood quietly beside her as she debated within herself.

Quiet encouragement flowed from her friend's mouth with each utterance of, "what if...."

To each question there was a simple response of truth.

To each doubt, there was given courage.

To each rejection there was given another opportunity.

Finally she took a timid step toward the door. She continued, haltingly, until she stood before the hook holding the key.

She sucked in a slow, deep breath and blew it out. Not once, but twice.

She lifted her hand and stopped in mid-air. Quickly, with fear wall-papered all over her face, she turned to her friend and said, "what do I need to do?"

"Trust." her friend quietly replied. "Trust the truth. You have nothing to lose except the fear of the unknown by opening the door. Trust the truth."

She turned back to the key one more time, took a final look at the door,

 and walked away.