Lately it seems that many people I know are hitting some pretty hard places in their lives. Even now as I write I'm blinking back tears trying not to let my mind wander to what could be possible, but instead focus on the known. That's what fear is, isn't it? When we let our minds focus on what could be possible rather than focusing on the known? I'm tired of fear having such power in my life. Fear holds me back from telling someone I care about them in case they react the wrong way. Fear holds me back from pursuing goals and dreams because I might fail. Fear holds me back from actually engaging in life because something may happen to someone I love and then I'll be struck with a sadness at times too great to bear. Fear holds me back from letting my children find out who they are because there are bad people in the world and what if something happened to one of my boys ~ how could I live? Fear, unhealthy fear, the fear that comes from letting your mind go to what could be possible rather than focusing on the known is nothing but evil trying to get a foot-hold and keep you from being who God made you to be.
I know - some of you are reading this and you're thinking, "but, Trayc, fear is not always a bad thing." I know! Good fear keeps me from walking down a dark alley in the middle of the night (or broad daylight) so I can be safer. Good fear keeps me from walking away from my faith when God doesn't make sense/I can't find the ability to trust Him right now because He IS still God and I don't want to be a pile of salt. Good fear keeps me from sending the boys off to play in the park without instruction to stay where I can see them at all times. Yes, there is good fear. I'm not talking about that today, though.
No, today I'm talking about the kind of fear that just pisses me off because I'm so sick of the way satan tries to get in there and fool us into thinking God's not really on our side and that He's not really in control. I hate that he convinces people that God isn't really who He says He is and that we believe him because we're afraid he might be right. I hate that that slimy, slithering yuck gets into our heads and gets us to believe that he is more powerful than God and if we don't worry about something then he's going to win. HE WILL NOT WIN ON GOD'S WATCH! And, just so you know...GOD'S WATCH IS ETERNAL!
Two weeks ago we had an incident in our church that, unfortunately, is too familiar. One of our pastors was found to have crossed some boundaries with female members of the group he was a pastor to. (before you immediately think he was a child molester or had an affair let me be clear that neither of those were the case...he allowed these girls to think of him more as a boyfriend than as a pastor. Why do we immediately jump to the worst and then dismiss the lesser, but equally sinful, breaches in boundaries as if they're no big deal? ANYway...)
Thankfully our head pastor didn't do that and there had to be an announcement every church hates to hear..."because of his choices he has resigned and will no longer be in leadership at this church." (notice he didn't say he was no longer welcome nor did he say he will no longer be with us. Instead, our pastor said the pastor in question is most certainly welcome at our church because our requirement to come into a church is to be a sinner ~ something we all qualify highly for ~ and because this is a place to find healing and help and hope...why wouldn't he and his family be welcome? They are more welcome now than ever before.)
Although it isn't criminal in nature, this event has had an impact on many people in our church.
Then, this last Saturday night we had a special speaker come to our young families group and speak to us about how we as parents can help prevent abuse in our children's lives. He speaks all over the US to teens and children about depression and suicide and safety, as well as to the parents about prevention and training in what to teach your children to keep them safe(r). That was a tough talk to sit through. That's a fear I hate because I have seen too many incidences of what that reality does. It can be a healthy fear, but it's a fine-line between healthy and unhealthy in my mind.
And then, Michael Jackson. 'nuff said.
And then, and then, and then. The list goes on. So many friends and extended family members looking at life and circumstances they are in wondering what will happen next. Of course our minds go naturally to the worst. Fear. Fear. Fear.
I just got a phone call and a circumstance I never thought I'd have to look at could possibly be. Instead of letting my mind go there (I'd be a basket case and can't afford that right now) I grabbed my wireless keyboard and started writing. (explanation for a possible randomness to this entry) So, in case some of you are facing fear, I thought I'd share my process in hopes that someone else's fears may be subsided in the truth as well. Here are some verses, quotes, thoughts and truths to set my fears running back to where they belong....
"Looking in the mirror in the light of the truth, there is nothing you can say and nothing you can do that will ever make God care more than He does for His treasure...God's treasure is YOU."
-Steven Curtis Chapman Treasure of You
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself."
-President Franklin D. Roosevelt
1Then the LORD answered Job from the whirlwind: "Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words? Brace yourself, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them.- Job 38:2 & 3
(then read the rest of 38 here... http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Job%2038&version=51)
"In the beginning you laid the foundations of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish, but you remain; they will all wear out like a garment. Like clothing you will change them and they will be discarded. But You remain the same, and your years will never end."
-Psalm 102: 26 & 27
"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for YOU ARE WITH ME; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."
- Psalm 23: 1-4
"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him."
-I Corinthians 2: 9
"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."
- 2 Corinthians 4: 8 & 9
"Fear nothing in the things you're about to suffer--but stay on guard! Fear nothing! The Devil is about to throw you in jail for a time of testing--ten days. It won't last forever. "Don't quit, even if it costs you your life. Stay there believing. I have a Life-Crown sized and ready for you. "
-Revelation 2:10
"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!"
-John 16:33
"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace."
-Acts 20:24
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in time of trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress."
-Psalm 46: 1- 3, 11
"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God."
-Psalm 42: 11
Thanks for reading. I know my heart is at a much a slower rate than it was 15 minutes ago. I hope yours is, too.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Wednesday, June 1, 2005
Everyone needs to laugh more...
Okay, this isn't a real questionnaire, but it's really quite funny! So, for this post, I'm just gonna share this with ya so you can enjoy a good laugh, too.... here goes...the beginning part is what was originally included in the message to make it seem real...click on the link above to check out some other funny hoaxes....ENJOY!
This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas web site by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of course, does not (have a sense of humor) - and made the web department take it down immediately. (McDonnell Douglas is one of the world's chief suppliers of military aircraft).
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
1. [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_] Classified [_] Other
First Name:
Initial:
Last Name:
Password: (max 8. char)
Code name:
Latitude/Longitude/Altitude: / /
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified
3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): / /
4. Serial Number:
5. Please check where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift/aid package
[_] Catalog showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified
6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend/relative/ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one
7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Style/appearance
[_] Speed/maneuverability
[_] Price/value
[_] Comfort/convenience
[_] Kickback/bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
[_] North America
[_] Iraq
[_] Iraq
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Iraq
[_] Europe
[_] Iraq
[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
[_] Iraq
[_] Africa
[_] Iraq
[_] Asia/Far East
[_] Iraq
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Iraq
[_] Classified
[_] Iraq
9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future: [_] Color TV
[_] VCR
[_] ICBM
[_] Killer Satellite
[_] CD Player
[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
[_] Space Shuttle
[_] Home Computer
[_] Nuclear Weapon
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all that apply)
[_] Communist/Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive/Tribal
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveler's check
12. Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales/marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister/General
[_] Retired
[_] Student
13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
[_] Golf
[_] Boating/sailing
[_] Sabotage
[_] Running/jogging
[_] Propaganda/disinformation
[_] Destabilization/overthrow
[_] Default on loans
[_] Gardening
[_] Crafts
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines
[_] Interrogation/torture
[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage/reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to: McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION Marketing Department Military Aerospace Division
This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas web site by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of course, does not (have a sense of humor) - and made the web department take it down immediately. (McDonnell Douglas is one of the world's chief suppliers of military aircraft).
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
1. [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_] Classified [_] Other
First Name:
Initial:
Last Name:
Password: (max 8. char)
Code name:
Latitude/Longitude/Altitude: / /
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified
3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): / /
4. Serial Number:
5. Please check where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift/aid package
[_] Catalog showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified
6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend/relative/ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one
7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Style/appearance
[_] Speed/maneuverability
[_] Price/value
[_] Comfort/convenience
[_] Kickback/bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
[_] North America
[_] Iraq
[_] Iraq
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Iraq
[_] Europe
[_] Iraq
[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
[_] Iraq
[_] Africa
[_] Iraq
[_] Asia/Far East
[_] Iraq
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Iraq
[_] Classified
[_] Iraq
9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future: [_] Color TV
[_] VCR
[_] ICBM
[_] Killer Satellite
[_] CD Player
[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
[_] Space Shuttle
[_] Home Computer
[_] Nuclear Weapon
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all that apply)
[_] Communist/Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive/Tribal
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveler's check
12. Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales/marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister/General
[_] Retired
[_] Student
13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
[_] Golf
[_] Boating/sailing
[_] Sabotage
[_] Running/jogging
[_] Propaganda/disinformation
[_] Destabilization/overthrow
[_] Default on loans
[_] Gardening
[_] Crafts
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines
[_] Interrogation/torture
[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage/reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to: McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION Marketing Department Military Aerospace Division
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Searching
"Search for the Lord and for His strength, and keep searching." Psalm 105:4
Today at our MOMS group I found out that one of the moms at our table, who is pregnant, will have to go in on Monday for a blood transfusion. Not for herself, for her baby. We were talking about making it through the chaos, and she spoke up to share some of the trials they've gone through. My immediate reaction was fear. Fear for the baby. Fear for her. Fear for her two little boys who are exactly Caleb & Micah's ages. Fear for her husband. Fear for her marriage. Fear for her faith. And, ashamedly, fear that I wouldn't have the guts to pray for her right then and there.
When I was pregnant with Caleb I worked at our church in Whittier, CA. I absolutely loved working there. In fact, I was rather sad when I had to tell Pastor Bill that I was pregnant and would be leaving after the baby was born. (Then we ended up getting transferred...I wonder if that wasn't to keep me from going back...) Anyway, in the office I was surrounded by beautiful Christian women who were Moms and liked to celebrate with me the anticipation of a new baby in our lives. One particular woman taught me a valuable lesson. Her name was Kathy and she was the Women's Ministries pastor. Every time she sat next to me, no matter where we were, if we prayed she laid her hand on my belly and I knew she was praying for the child growing inside of me right along with the spoken prayer. At times like that fear of the unknown, anxiety over what was to come, whatever pent-up feelings I had over being a Mom simply melted away and instead I was filled with the peace that passes all understanding.
I have feared for my child's life while they were in utero, and I have experienced the pain of childbirth gone wrong...personally on a much lesser level than the experience of friends I love deeply...and in times like this morning those feelings come in and they cloud over me like a heavy veil. Then I run across a verse like Psalm 116: 1-2 which reads, "I love the Lord because He hears and answers my prayers. Because He bends down and listens, I will pray as long as I have breath." There was a time in my life ~ when I was single and had no one else to talk to more often than not ~ that I went through my day in a sort of constant conversation with God. I am reminded of that now, I believe, because it's time to get back to that discipline.
Is there something you used to do that you have simply drifted away from? Is it something that would bring spark and flame back to your relationship with Christ in an area of your relationship that is smoldering or even cold? Will you walk with me into that challenge of re-discovering that habit...discipline...commitment? Right now Scott is waiting for me to finish this so we can pray over Caleb's schooling choice. In this time in our world education choices, I believe, cannot be made blindly. As Caleb nears Kindergarten and Micah nears three I find the need to return to "dating" my first love...no, to fully committing my heart and soul, future and family into His hands daily...hourly...minute-by-minute.
Today at our MOMS group I found out that one of the moms at our table, who is pregnant, will have to go in on Monday for a blood transfusion. Not for herself, for her baby. We were talking about making it through the chaos, and she spoke up to share some of the trials they've gone through. My immediate reaction was fear. Fear for the baby. Fear for her. Fear for her two little boys who are exactly Caleb & Micah's ages. Fear for her husband. Fear for her marriage. Fear for her faith. And, ashamedly, fear that I wouldn't have the guts to pray for her right then and there.
When I was pregnant with Caleb I worked at our church in Whittier, CA. I absolutely loved working there. In fact, I was rather sad when I had to tell Pastor Bill that I was pregnant and would be leaving after the baby was born. (Then we ended up getting transferred...I wonder if that wasn't to keep me from going back...) Anyway, in the office I was surrounded by beautiful Christian women who were Moms and liked to celebrate with me the anticipation of a new baby in our lives. One particular woman taught me a valuable lesson. Her name was Kathy and she was the Women's Ministries pastor. Every time she sat next to me, no matter where we were, if we prayed she laid her hand on my belly and I knew she was praying for the child growing inside of me right along with the spoken prayer. At times like that fear of the unknown, anxiety over what was to come, whatever pent-up feelings I had over being a Mom simply melted away and instead I was filled with the peace that passes all understanding.
I have feared for my child's life while they were in utero, and I have experienced the pain of childbirth gone wrong...personally on a much lesser level than the experience of friends I love deeply...and in times like this morning those feelings come in and they cloud over me like a heavy veil. Then I run across a verse like Psalm 116: 1-2 which reads, "I love the Lord because He hears and answers my prayers. Because He bends down and listens, I will pray as long as I have breath." There was a time in my life ~ when I was single and had no one else to talk to more often than not ~ that I went through my day in a sort of constant conversation with God. I am reminded of that now, I believe, because it's time to get back to that discipline.
Is there something you used to do that you have simply drifted away from? Is it something that would bring spark and flame back to your relationship with Christ in an area of your relationship that is smoldering or even cold? Will you walk with me into that challenge of re-discovering that habit...discipline...commitment? Right now Scott is waiting for me to finish this so we can pray over Caleb's schooling choice. In this time in our world education choices, I believe, cannot be made blindly. As Caleb nears Kindergarten and Micah nears three I find the need to return to "dating" my first love...no, to fully committing my heart and soul, future and family into His hands daily...hourly...minute-by-minute.
Saturday, May 14, 2005
I'm Shot!
The Bible says that a "greater love hath no man than this: that he lay down his life for his friends." I believe that the parental version is this: "greater pain hath no parent than this: that they have to hold down their small child for three big shots."
Now, I know...she hasn't experienced the half of the pain if that's what she thinks...but today, for me, it is absolute truth. Caleb & Micah both had Dr's appointments today. It was one of those "Oh, Lord, I hope I made the right decision about this doctor..." kind of appointments. This was the first time we've been to him and, to be perfectly honest, under my strong and confident exterior was a Mom who was really wondering on the way to the clinic if she'd made the right choice. I've been to Dr's who have not a care in the world for what the patient thinks and I find it difficult enough when it's me I'm having to defend...I can take quite a bit before I get testy ...but these are my babies we're talking about now! Mr. or Ms. or Mrs. Dr. who doesn't want to take seriously the concerns of MaMa Duck ain't getting too far into the little pond, if ya know what I mean! I'll have those little ducklings to another Dr. faster than you can shake a tale feather! (okay...enough of the cheesy animal analogies!)
SO, ANYWAY... We got to the clinic, checked in, handed the receptionist all our paperwork and sat and waited a while. (not too long since we were the first on the books for today...yea!) We went back to the little room and the nurse had some forms for me to sign and yada-yada-yada. The boys were themselves ~ active and curious ~ and I was hoping this was going to be a relatively quick morning appointment. In by 8:15...out by 9:30. yeah. right. The Dr. came in and he was very nice. (whew! Thank You, Jesus!) He has three boys of his own and is very understanding of parental concerns and questions. As we talked about Caleb's allergies and Micah's endless green nose all fears I had about the decision I made were laid to rest.
So, as I said earlier - both boys had to get shots. Caleb simply had to get his 5 year old shots (he's 5 1/2) and Micah hadn't had shots since his 9 month check up. (I KNOW! I beat myself up enough for all of us so just don't say it!) :) Thankfully at three years old you don't get any shots so he simply had to play catch-up. Caleb was first up to bat. After his eye test and all the typical checks - ears, nose, throat, etc. - on both boys the Dr. left and Nurse Meanie Pants came in with these two innocent looking plastic tubs. She carried weapons of terror in those tubs. They were long and rather innocuous looking tubes, but on the ends were needles at least 10 inches long! No, seriously. I didn't look at them because I hate needles (don't ever tell my boys that!) until she was getting ready to stab my oldest child and then it was a quick glance as I prayed desperately that it wouldn't hurt for some odd reason ~ surely God would have mercy on my child and take the pain away, wouldn't He? I told Caleb it would just prick a bit and then it would be over (was that a lie?) and then I asked him to name all the brave people he could think of. Now, I was hoping to hear things like "Daddy, Mommy, PaPa Pete, PaPa T, etc. etc. etc." However, I took it all in stride as he began his litany of superheroes..."Superman, Bibleman, Spiderman, LarryBoy..." (yeah, I have to agree...there's something odd about hearing a talking cucumber be referred to as brave...but, hey! He's five!) So, the first one went in and his lip quivered and he said "ow"a lot but he held it together. "Way to go, Bubber! You did it! You were as brave as Superman! Okay...let's look over here now...don't look at the needles...look at me. Who else is brave?" Just as he started to say "well, Spiderman is brave" she jabbed that saber into the back of his upper left arm and he jumped and started to WAIL. Oh, my. Houston, we have a problem.
When he jumped the nurse jabbed the needle a bit and then tried again - not good - that immunization was ruined. After what seemed like 15 minutes but was probably more like 2 he was calming down as we prayed for extra courage to finish his shots. Earlier, when we were talking about getting shots he was initially saying he didn't want any shots. I reminded him that in order to go to Kindergarten he had to have his shots. Ah! Mother of the Year Award! I said the magic words that made it all worthwhile! Well, after Nurse Wicked-Witch-of-the-West practically amputated my sons arm I reminded him of it again in the form of a question..."Caleb, do you want to go to Kindergarten in the fall?" Now, what child in their right mind would answer affirmative to that question after being stabbed? Thank God my child has a brain! His immediate response was a firm and decisive shake of the head. Take the award back...words are just words. The nurse had to leave to get a new needle of the immunization that ended up leaving two big bruises and lots of blood on my sons arm and when she came back in I was in position. She stood behind him as I cradled my left arm around his head and pressed him lovingly to me (while firmly keeping his right arm immobile) and held his left hand with mine telling him to squeeze my hand if it started to hurt again. Nurse I-have-the-worst-job-in-the-world wasn't as mean so much as she was praying she wouldn't shake as she stabbed my poor innocent baby again, and within 30 seconds both shots were in, Caleb was wailing again, and I was fighting not to join him. Ah, one down, one to go.
Micah was next. Now, before the nurse (she really was not mean at all...) came into the room I was contemplating how to do the shots. Caleb tends to be a bit more dramatic in his reactions to things (I have tried to figure out where that comes from!) but Micah is younger so I was trying to decide who could be the "tough role model" for the other guy. Well, of course, Caleb was the logical choice, but after his experience I was understandably worried about Micah's response to his turn. Thankfully his shots would all be on his left thigh and I could sit down and hold him on my lap for his shots. However, we don't call Micah "Bam-Bam" because he's a little girly-man! I was in for another fight and struggle as I put his legs between mine and held his hands in mine and wrapped my arms around him so his arms formed a make-shift straight-jacket. Nurse I'm-praying-this-one-goes-better was armed and ready and went Bam! Bam! Bam! on my little angel's leg as he cried and screamed and fought to be free. Within 45 seconds the entire ordeal was over and other than two little boys laying on the floor acting like they'd just been run over by a Mack truck and my own eyes fighting back the urge to spill forth everything was A-Okay.
I had promised the boys breakfast after their shots - their choice - so after filling a couple prescriptions we were off to Krispy Kreme. We really should have headed to Red Robin or something since it was closer to lunch than breakfast, but why not? We all just endured a traumatic moment in our lives and why not put them on a sugar high and give those immunizations something to work against? :) I don't remember the last time we had donuts and I really don't care what anyone thinks ~ those boys deserved some sweetness in their lives today. *wink & grin* And, yes, if we were in Texas we wouldn't have gone to Krispy Kreme, Aunt Mary! :)
I feel like I should go warm up the Karaoke machine with a Gloria Gaynor tune (she sang, "I will survive" for those of you unfamiliar with the disco era), but instead I think I'm going to go warm up my side of the bed. Before I go, though, remember this: You can do all things through Christ's strength ~ I'm living testimony to that today! If it weren't for Him I would've been on the floor with the boys wailing over the pain of life right along with 'em. Goodnight...
Now, I know...she hasn't experienced the half of the pain if that's what she thinks...but today, for me, it is absolute truth. Caleb & Micah both had Dr's appointments today. It was one of those "Oh, Lord, I hope I made the right decision about this doctor..." kind of appointments. This was the first time we've been to him and, to be perfectly honest, under my strong and confident exterior was a Mom who was really wondering on the way to the clinic if she'd made the right choice. I've been to Dr's who have not a care in the world for what the patient thinks and I find it difficult enough when it's me I'm having to defend...I can take quite a bit before I get testy ...but these are my babies we're talking about now! Mr. or Ms. or Mrs. Dr. who doesn't want to take seriously the concerns of MaMa Duck ain't getting too far into the little pond, if ya know what I mean! I'll have those little ducklings to another Dr. faster than you can shake a tale feather! (okay...enough of the cheesy animal analogies!)
SO, ANYWAY... We got to the clinic, checked in, handed the receptionist all our paperwork and sat and waited a while. (not too long since we were the first on the books for today...yea!) We went back to the little room and the nurse had some forms for me to sign and yada-yada-yada. The boys were themselves ~ active and curious ~ and I was hoping this was going to be a relatively quick morning appointment. In by 8:15...out by 9:30. yeah. right. The Dr. came in and he was very nice. (whew! Thank You, Jesus!) He has three boys of his own and is very understanding of parental concerns and questions. As we talked about Caleb's allergies and Micah's endless green nose all fears I had about the decision I made were laid to rest.
So, as I said earlier - both boys had to get shots. Caleb simply had to get his 5 year old shots (he's 5 1/2) and Micah hadn't had shots since his 9 month check up. (I KNOW! I beat myself up enough for all of us so just don't say it!) :) Thankfully at three years old you don't get any shots so he simply had to play catch-up. Caleb was first up to bat. After his eye test and all the typical checks - ears, nose, throat, etc. - on both boys the Dr. left and Nurse Meanie Pants came in with these two innocent looking plastic tubs. She carried weapons of terror in those tubs. They were long and rather innocuous looking tubes, but on the ends were needles at least 10 inches long! No, seriously. I didn't look at them because I hate needles (don't ever tell my boys that!) until she was getting ready to stab my oldest child and then it was a quick glance as I prayed desperately that it wouldn't hurt for some odd reason ~ surely God would have mercy on my child and take the pain away, wouldn't He? I told Caleb it would just prick a bit and then it would be over (was that a lie?) and then I asked him to name all the brave people he could think of. Now, I was hoping to hear things like "Daddy, Mommy, PaPa Pete, PaPa T, etc. etc. etc." However, I took it all in stride as he began his litany of superheroes..."Superman, Bibleman, Spiderman, LarryBoy..." (yeah, I have to agree...there's something odd about hearing a talking cucumber be referred to as brave...but, hey! He's five!) So, the first one went in and his lip quivered and he said "ow"a lot but he held it together. "Way to go, Bubber! You did it! You were as brave as Superman! Okay...let's look over here now...don't look at the needles...look at me. Who else is brave?" Just as he started to say "well, Spiderman is brave" she jabbed that saber into the back of his upper left arm and he jumped and started to WAIL. Oh, my. Houston, we have a problem.
When he jumped the nurse jabbed the needle a bit and then tried again - not good - that immunization was ruined. After what seemed like 15 minutes but was probably more like 2 he was calming down as we prayed for extra courage to finish his shots. Earlier, when we were talking about getting shots he was initially saying he didn't want any shots. I reminded him that in order to go to Kindergarten he had to have his shots. Ah! Mother of the Year Award! I said the magic words that made it all worthwhile! Well, after Nurse Wicked-Witch-of-the-West practically amputated my sons arm I reminded him of it again in the form of a question..."Caleb, do you want to go to Kindergarten in the fall?" Now, what child in their right mind would answer affirmative to that question after being stabbed? Thank God my child has a brain! His immediate response was a firm and decisive shake of the head. Take the award back...words are just words. The nurse had to leave to get a new needle of the immunization that ended up leaving two big bruises and lots of blood on my sons arm and when she came back in I was in position. She stood behind him as I cradled my left arm around his head and pressed him lovingly to me (while firmly keeping his right arm immobile) and held his left hand with mine telling him to squeeze my hand if it started to hurt again. Nurse I-have-the-worst-job-in-the-world wasn't as mean so much as she was praying she wouldn't shake as she stabbed my poor innocent baby again, and within 30 seconds both shots were in, Caleb was wailing again, and I was fighting not to join him. Ah, one down, one to go.
Micah was next. Now, before the nurse (she really was not mean at all...) came into the room I was contemplating how to do the shots. Caleb tends to be a bit more dramatic in his reactions to things (I have tried to figure out where that comes from!) but Micah is younger so I was trying to decide who could be the "tough role model" for the other guy. Well, of course, Caleb was the logical choice, but after his experience I was understandably worried about Micah's response to his turn. Thankfully his shots would all be on his left thigh and I could sit down and hold him on my lap for his shots. However, we don't call Micah "Bam-Bam" because he's a little girly-man! I was in for another fight and struggle as I put his legs between mine and held his hands in mine and wrapped my arms around him so his arms formed a make-shift straight-jacket. Nurse I'm-praying-this-one-goes-better was armed and ready and went Bam! Bam! Bam! on my little angel's leg as he cried and screamed and fought to be free. Within 45 seconds the entire ordeal was over and other than two little boys laying on the floor acting like they'd just been run over by a Mack truck and my own eyes fighting back the urge to spill forth everything was A-Okay.
I had promised the boys breakfast after their shots - their choice - so after filling a couple prescriptions we were off to Krispy Kreme. We really should have headed to Red Robin or something since it was closer to lunch than breakfast, but why not? We all just endured a traumatic moment in our lives and why not put them on a sugar high and give those immunizations something to work against? :) I don't remember the last time we had donuts and I really don't care what anyone thinks ~ those boys deserved some sweetness in their lives today. *wink & grin* And, yes, if we were in Texas we wouldn't have gone to Krispy Kreme, Aunt Mary! :)
I feel like I should go warm up the Karaoke machine with a Gloria Gaynor tune (she sang, "I will survive" for those of you unfamiliar with the disco era), but instead I think I'm going to go warm up my side of the bed. Before I go, though, remember this: You can do all things through Christ's strength ~ I'm living testimony to that today! If it weren't for Him I would've been on the floor with the boys wailing over the pain of life right along with 'em. Goodnight...
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Kindergarten
Today was the Kindergarten Open House at Caleb's Elementary School. Scott and Caleb & I all went together (I'm really glad Scott's job allows that kind of flexibility in his schedule that he was able to attend...I know Caleb wouldn't have felt as confident as he did if Scott hadn't been there). After dropping Micah off at a friend's house we drove to the school in a bit of anticipatory silence. It was obvious that Caleb was excited...he was just taking it all in and looking ahead to where we were going and what was coming next. Scott and I were a bit more solemnly quiet. I don't know if we were in the same place mentally ~ I tend to doubt it but you never know.
I was in the place of thinking I wish I was one of those "on top of it" kind of Moms who knows where everything is in their house and doesn't need to take time to stop and think about where they put that so they'd know where it was when they needed it. (This is one of those times when I think Scott probably was thinking the same thing I was...he wishes I was that kind of Mom many times, too! :) Thankfully they have that in him and I can step in the for the spontaneous fun stuff ~ we balance each other well.) Yes, as you can probably guess from what I was thinking it dawned on me at the last minute that I needed another form for his registration and although I know exactly where it is I need a key to get to it...and it's the key I cannot find at this moment. UGH!!!!! So, after telling myself NOT to believe the voice in my head telling me exactly what they thought of my orginizational skills I began to think about this whole Kindergarten thing.....
I remember very little of Kindergarten except Mrs. Van der Aarte and the really cool wooden kitchen with little sink and refrigerator and shelves we got to play with. I didn't like the stove then either. :) I remember Mrs. Van der Aarte had blonde hair that she wore in a really high beehive ~ of course, I was probably all of two feet tall so it probably wasn't that high ~ and she was pretty and smiled a lot. She was really OLD, too!! I swear she was probably as old as Mom and Dad!! I remember she made us feel safe and she read great stories to us and I remember walking all the way down the really long hall in South Sioux School to her classroom feeling like I was such a big girl. And I'm almost positive I cried on the first day. I'm pretty positive I did because I seem to remember Mom putting on that strong but gentle Mom face and telling me I'll be okay and walking away before it got really hard to leave.
The strange thing is I don't remember Kindergarten being a really academic year. Maybe it was, but to me (and this is so surprising knowing how serious I am) it was just a really great time to play with my friends! Okay, if Scott were standing beside me he'd groan and say, "oh, brother!" Hmmm....I seem to remember most of my school years being exactly that ~ a great time to play with my friends and learn something in the process.
Caleb seems to be that way. He had no trouble walking down the hall talking the big student's head off; his teacher said he had a good time and had lots to share...and when we went on our bus ride after our meetings were over and the bus driver lady asked if there were any questions Caleb was the only one to raise his hand. Yup. The only one. Time kind of stood still for Scott & I as Caleb told the bus driver (and the entire bus) that "sometimes my dog likes to eat dirt." Polite chuckles and chuckles that said, "thank God that wasn't my kid!" flittered about the tinny interior of the bright yellow school bus as the bus driver smiled and lovingly responded to a child's innocent statement. Any worries I had about whether he was gonna make it kind of drifted away.
Yes, Caleb will do okay. It's his Mom I'm a bit worried about...
I was in the place of thinking I wish I was one of those "on top of it" kind of Moms who knows where everything is in their house and doesn't need to take time to stop and think about where they put that so they'd know where it was when they needed it. (This is one of those times when I think Scott probably was thinking the same thing I was...he wishes I was that kind of Mom many times, too! :) Thankfully they have that in him and I can step in the for the spontaneous fun stuff ~ we balance each other well.) Yes, as you can probably guess from what I was thinking it dawned on me at the last minute that I needed another form for his registration and although I know exactly where it is I need a key to get to it...and it's the key I cannot find at this moment. UGH!!!!! So, after telling myself NOT to believe the voice in my head telling me exactly what they thought of my orginizational skills I began to think about this whole Kindergarten thing.....
I remember very little of Kindergarten except Mrs. Van der Aarte and the really cool wooden kitchen with little sink and refrigerator and shelves we got to play with. I didn't like the stove then either. :) I remember Mrs. Van der Aarte had blonde hair that she wore in a really high beehive ~ of course, I was probably all of two feet tall so it probably wasn't that high ~ and she was pretty and smiled a lot. She was really OLD, too!! I swear she was probably as old as Mom and Dad!! I remember she made us feel safe and she read great stories to us and I remember walking all the way down the really long hall in South Sioux School to her classroom feeling like I was such a big girl. And I'm almost positive I cried on the first day. I'm pretty positive I did because I seem to remember Mom putting on that strong but gentle Mom face and telling me I'll be okay and walking away before it got really hard to leave.
The strange thing is I don't remember Kindergarten being a really academic year. Maybe it was, but to me (and this is so surprising knowing how serious I am) it was just a really great time to play with my friends! Okay, if Scott were standing beside me he'd groan and say, "oh, brother!" Hmmm....I seem to remember most of my school years being exactly that ~ a great time to play with my friends and learn something in the process.
Caleb seems to be that way. He had no trouble walking down the hall talking the big student's head off; his teacher said he had a good time and had lots to share...and when we went on our bus ride after our meetings were over and the bus driver lady asked if there were any questions Caleb was the only one to raise his hand. Yup. The only one. Time kind of stood still for Scott & I as Caleb told the bus driver (and the entire bus) that "sometimes my dog likes to eat dirt." Polite chuckles and chuckles that said, "thank God that wasn't my kid!" flittered about the tinny interior of the bright yellow school bus as the bus driver smiled and lovingly responded to a child's innocent statement. Any worries I had about whether he was gonna make it kind of drifted away.
Yes, Caleb will do okay. It's his Mom I'm a bit worried about...