Over the last few weeks the topic of adoption vs abortion has weighed heavily on my mind. I know personally why the topic is there ~ Sophie came into this world 10 years ago on September 18th. Her adoption placement was three weeks later on October 7th.
However, politically, geographically and intellectually the topics are there for very different reasons. Most of you who read this blog know I hail from South Dakota. I love having grown up in South Dakota ~ I had a great education, wonderful neighbors and churches and a culture that, at the time, was focused on the stereotypical Midwestern Hospitality. I owe a lot of who I am because of where I came from. Many of you probably know (unless you're living in some Christian World News hole or something) that South Dakota is a very controversial state right now. WOO HOO!! (sorry...I'm not supposed to be that excited about controversy. :) ) Anyway, I digress....South Dakota has on it's ballot for November a possibility that abortion would become illegal in the entire state...no matter the circumstances. Ooooooohhh! Con-tro-VER-see!
I am prouder than ever to be from South Dakota. I am the product of a state that is now saying, "we care about our future ~ we care about our present ~ we care about the young people who are growing up in this state today and we care about the future they are bringing to our state in the days, months and years ahead." Many states say the care about their children. Some of them even go so far to say that the education and care of their young people is THE most important responsibility they have. So why do they tell those same kids that if they had come along at any other time ~ a less convenient time ~ that it would have been okay to kill them?
I can hear some of you now...."oh, Trayc, don't use that 'k' word! That's a little harsh, isn't it? Let's try something a little more PC...maybe "take their life" or "terminate their pregnancy" but please don't say they're killing their baby. Oh, and while we're on that topic...let's not make them feel any more guilt over the decision....let's not call it a baby. They have simply decided to terminate an unplanned, unwanted, pregnancy." Read on.
I know it's not PC...and I know it hurts. I have someone in mind right now that I know reads this blog and I know he's wanting desperately to stop reading but he can't ~ he knows the truth, too. My heart breaks for him and it's the conversations I had with him after he paid for his girlfriend's abortion that make me even MORE adamant over the topic of abortion versus life. I saw the pain in his eyes ~ I saw the desire to crawl under the table and hide from the pain of knowing he would not see his child this side of heaven. Even now, years later, I cry over that conversation and the pain I saw in him. Abortion doesn't end a pregnancy...it ends a life. If you don't believe that conception is the beginning of a life then let me tell you this: abortion doesn't only end the life of the child in the womb...in many ways it ends the life of the mother and the father, if he's even given the opportunity to be a part of the decision.
I know the pain of that decision making process. When I discovered I was pregnant in January of 1996 I was terrified of what lay ahead. My baby's father didn't want me to go through with it, and I did call Planned Parenthood to "discover" what my options were. I guess I always have been one to make sure all my bases are covered...to find out if there isn't a better, more efficient way to handle something. But to be honest when she said that the only option for me was to terminate the pregnancy and I could make the appointment for that day if I needed to my heart, which was already cracked in pieces over the place I found myself, shattered. I quickly said I would have to think about it and hung up.
I went to my school's nurse and she encouraged me to go to a friend of hers who ran a Pregnancy Resource Center (the PC version of "Crisis Pregnancy Center" which I believe states it more clearly since most of the women who really want to visit the Planned Parenthood building do so because they see this pregnancy as a crisis, not a pregnancy...but again, I digress...)
By the grace of God I started having problems in my pregnancy and I had to visit an OB doctor right away. I had my first ultrasound at 8 weeks...the time you have to wait until to have an abortion so they can make sure they "get all the parts" during the procedure. I saw my baby ~ she didn't look like a baby. In fact, she looked like a little lump of oatmeal, but there was something that made all the difference in the world between a baby and a blob ~ she had a beating heart. It was amazing! When a doctor is operating on someone and they flatline, that is their heart stops, the patient is considered dead...or near dead...and they do all they can to resucitate them. However, if a baby is "in the way" or "inconvenient" or "the product of an act of violence" then the beating heart isn't really a beating heart. No. It's just a nuisance that must be taken care of. Oh, how my heart breaks to think that people really think that way!!!!!!! I applaude and cheer for those young women who found themselves (or find themselves) in a place I was in 10 short years ago and have chosen to give their baby life! THANK YOU!!!
There's something else, though, and it is as much an epidemic to be dealt with as abortion is....it's my own personal controversy that I'm sure will not sit well with many people. The topic is: abortion vs. adoption vs. single parenting.......ooooooh! I'm not going to continue now, but check back...I'll be posting it soon. (I really want to make sure I get the wording, the heart and the message right on this one............it's much too important to flippantly post some inner rambling.)
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