All of me...the WHOLE me!

On February 7th I embarked on a new journey. I had been following some friends of mine last Fall when they embarked on the same journey and had the opportunity in mid-January to meet one of them for coffee at her house. I knew what the premise was of the journey. Understood the sacrifice it would mean. I did not, however, imagine how great the results would be!

Last Fall, October of 2012, was the first time I'd heard of "The Whole 30." It is an eating plan ~ a life change ~ that focuses on not only "healthy" eating, but "eating healthy food." There's a difference. Really. There is. It's like driving and riding...one is an action, the other is a passive action. To eat healthy you are aware of foods you're putting in your body. To eat healthy food you are not only aware of foods you're putting in your body, but also of the chemical makeup...the affect that food has on your body's makeup...the hormonal effects, etc of the foods you are putting in your body.

In the book "It Starts with Food" (ISWF) by Dallas & Melissa Hartwig I read things about food, information about my body and my life, that I thought I knew but really knew nothing about. It literally changed my mind about food. It also changed my mind about me, but we'll get to that later. On page 25 of the book they say, "We care about what is making us, here and now, more or less healthy." That was my first highlight. Many, MANY more have followed.

I had been eating a relatively "fine" kind of diet. I enjoyed a Diet Dr. Pepper every once in a while. I Thoroughly enjoyed my Salted Caramel Mocha creamer in my 1-2 (or sometimes more) cups of coffee each day. I ate healthy breakfast cereals and healthy sandwiches (ie: veggie sandwiches with no mayo), and I ate salads sans dressing because I wanted to enjoy the taste of my food and dressings were heavy (no matter what kind I used). I snacked on rice crackers and hummus and only indulged in french fries once in a great while...when I'd dip them in mayo. :) Yes, I know. I said I was following a *relatively* healthy diet. I did indulge, but not very often. Dark chocolate was my choice over milk or white chocolate, and Fro-Yo was my choice of frozen dessert while going easy on the Yo and heavy on the fruit toppings. Bread was whole wheat or pitas and on Fridays I thoroughly enjoyed eating Cheesy Pizza Bread from Little Caesars.

I was, however, at the least 50 pounds overweight and at the most 60 pounds over weight. I didn't "feel" fat, but I did look fat and it especially showed itself in my swollen fingers and face as well as a fat abdomen I couldn't get rid of and was the sure insignia of the foods I was eating. I knew, somehow, that when I pushed on my belly and I felt the muscles under a too thick, but.. not as thick a layer of fat as it would appear, that something was going on *underneath* my fat that was the source of the problem. I don't know that what I just said makes any sense other than to say I knew it wasn't just a "fat" problem.

In my early years I was never overweight. My mom used to get so frustrated because she had to pay the extra $2.00 for "slim" jeans because regular jeans in my size were too big and the size smaller was too short. I always had a poochy tummy, though, and even at 110 pounds and 5'1" my tummy was evident. I had no idea why ~ back then I thought I simply had to do more sit-ups and crunches. That would slim me down, but my tummy still stuck out...and that bothered me. Add three births to that body and about 7 years of real hormonal struggles after going cold turkey on an anti-depressant when I found out I was pregnant with the last one, and my lifestyle and choices were definitely showing in my outer appearance.

So come back to last October. My foodie friends ~ the ones God has blessed my life with to get me thinking about food in a different way than I was raised ~ invited me to join a group of them on Facebook who would be going through the Whole 30 during the month of October. I knew I wasn't ready (they were, too, but they're sneaky, those God-given friends! ;-) ) and they invited me and a few others to just go ahead and "lurk" while they went through it. I have to be honest here...(Amy, Marlene, Ronda...I apologize beforehand, but you know I love you deeply!)...many times my thoughts about what they were doing were more on the scoffing side than the encouraging side. I thought they were nuts! Seriously!! WHO, in their right mind, would give up sugar in the month of sugar ~ October ~ that would then lead in to the Season of Sugar ~ November and December??? Ding dongs!! Oh, and they gave up legumes and dairy, too. He-lllooooooo! I understood the giving up of grains (I have two cousins who have been diagnosed with Celiac and have gluten issues myself), but that included RICE? Whatevs. This made no sense to me.

Then they started talking about how good they felt.

And they started saying how amazed they were at the differences in their bodies and minds.

And I started paying attention to the recipes they were posting on the page and I have to admit that when I see "shrimp" and "bacon" in a recipe my foodie antennae go up. Add "Coconut milk" and "coconut oil" and I imagine myself in tropical heaven.

Fast forward to January when I met with my friend, Ronda, at her house. She opened the door and I could not believe how great she looked! She always looked good, but this time she looked really healthy and, well, for lack of another word, contentedly well-nourished. We chatted about different things for a bit and then I asked her about this "Whole 30 thing." It was as if I'd pushed the "theater" button in her. The excitement that came into her voice was contagious. She answered my questions about having to give up this or that (things other "low carb/high protein" diets require) and she'd say, "no, you don't have to give up that ~ if it weren't for such and such I couldn't have done it, either" (with proper grammar because she's an English teacher. HA!)

I left her house really intrigued by this "Whole 30 Thing." (that's what I called it then...now I call it "THE Whole 30!") I knew I was having trouble focusing my mind and putting thoughts together. No matter what time I went to bed I could not get going in the morning without my coffee (and then after hitting the snooze for a minimum of 45 minutes!), and no matter how hard I worked out I seriously could not lose the weight in my belly and the swollen fingers and face. I knew something needed to change in my life.

Here's the kicker, though. I knew GOD was calling me to fulfill His Plan in my life, and I didn't think KNEW I couldn't do that in the state I was in. In a very real way I knew I was sinning in my life by not paying attention to what I was doing to my body. I was fat, but not out of shape. I was fighting depression, but a joyful person. I was eating relatively healthy, but not healthy at all. I was NOT the person God had created me to be. All the other stuff? It mattered. I like looking good. I like being energetic and spontaneous. I like being able to sing and play and be active. It mattered, but it wasn't enough to change my life. Just because I like something doesn't mean I'm willing to give up other things I like to have it. (evident throughout my life by my finances, but that's another blog for another time...)

Ronda had lent me her kindle edition of ISWF and after the 1st chapter I had purchased my own copy for my Nook. I knew I'd want to share this with my husband after I'd read it. After going through and reading about the affects of food on our bodies page 35's highlight said this, "We're here to tell you: IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. You are not lacking willpower. You are not lazy. And it's not your fault you can't stop eating these foods." They go on to explain they're not saying we don't have responsibility in our choices, but because of the chemical makeup of the foods we ingest they make it hard to resist. I knew that on a cerebral level. I knew that when I craved white cake with the thickest buttercream frosting and I HAD. TO. HAVE. it....SOOOOON! that I was responding to the food and not the need, but, like any other hold in life, I didn't know the why of not being able to resist it. Thanks to Mr. & Mrs. Hartwig I began to unravel what was making up my dietary life.

It was because I read the book (and continue to read, I have't finished it yet because there is thought provoking information on it's pages), that I had no problem giving up Dairy, Legumes, Sugar and Grains. It wasn't a "piece of cake" if you'll pardon the pun, but seeing my *REAL* fingers the size they're supposed to be and seeing the almost immediate change in my face (that *I* could see and I knew others couldn't yet) I was hooked. I eat real food. I eat shrimp with peppers and zucchini and shallots and coconut milk with turmeric and cilantro. I eat eggs and sausage (not just any sausage ~ good for me sausage!) with my coffee con coconut creamer for breakfast in the morning. I have almonds and bananas and clementine cuties as snacks. After trying them and hating them last Spring I have discovered that Larabars are amazingly delicious and filling!!! I ate "Beet Chips" (like potato chips but made out of beets) yesterday and I thought, "this is what beets were made for!" I went to the beach with my family and our friends and while they ate ice cream I was completely content to eat blueberries with coconut milk "whipped cream" on them. There has been no deprivation, no feelings of "aw, I can't have that so I'm just going to give up," and definitely have not missed what I was living with 22 days ago!

Now, before you think I've been super good and never cheated, let me tell you about last Saturday. CJ, my oldest son, had his last basketball game of the season and afterward his coaches had white cake with thick buttercream frosting for the team. (Can you guess what my "kryptonite" is? UGH.) I had woken up that morning energized and refreshed (another great side-effect) but was tired of having to *cook* all the time. I was feeling like I wanted to be lazy...I just wanted to run through a drive through and get a coffee instead of having to get it at home, etc. Basically, I was having a pity party for my pitiful self. I was also feeling like this life-change (this has never been a "diet" for me...it's a change I'm making in my *life*) wasn't really making that big of a difference in me. So, of course, I gave in to a finger-full of frosting off CJ's piece of cake and then I had what was, quite literally, a  piece of cake the size of a domino. Not the size as in width, but size as in if you were to lay a domino beside it they would be the same size.

O. M. GOODNESS!!!

I was not expecting a reaction.

I felt an immediate headache coming on, my stomach was roiling all around like I had the flu, and my tongue felt like there was a layer of plastic covering it that I couldn't get rid of. I was amazed. OH. And my fingers immediately swelled up. I couldn't remove my rings. Hmmmmm....think there's something to this? Imma thinkin' so.

So here I am on the final countdown to the finality of The Whole 30. I am, as have been many others before me, entering this week with trepidation. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I may decide to continue it until Easter (do the whole Lenten sacrifice until then). I may decide to just continue following it with less rigidity in the plan. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I do, know, however, that I am REALLY glad ~ completely thankful ~ that God brought Dallas & Melissa Hartwig into my life through my friends and their website, Whole 9 Life.

One other thing I'm looking forward to? Weighing in and taking my 30 day measurements. I know I've had to go down 5 notches on my belt and I've lost at least one size already, but I can't wait to see what the numbers say!

Oh. One other thing I'm looking forward to? Seeing what God's going to do with this life I've given to Him and am now working at getting ready to fulfill His Plan in it. He's already opened a couple doors I am  amazed by, and He's showing me what my next steps in the business side of life are shaping up for. I am really excited to see what He's got in line for a life obedient not only to His offer of Salvation, but especially in obedience to resisting the temptation of unhealthiness, knowing that all things are edible, but not all things are healthy, and finally, living as if I've been redeemed and worthy of health ~ physically as well as spiritually.

If you want to know more, let me know ~ ask me questions. I may not know all the answers, but I'll be willing to share my journey with you. I really, REALLY encourage you to check out the book, "It Starts With Food." If you only read the first section and change nothing? That's okay ~ but I'll bet you can't. :)

Sorry for the super-duper long post, but if you've read any of my posts or know me at all you know I'm willing to share what I'm passionate about, and this is definitely something worth sharing. Have a great day!!