Hello to all of you who bother to read this. I'm feeling compelled to explain a few things lest someone who is unfamiliar with the electronic world of internet and the such think what you see is more than what it really is.
#1: My blog looks nice...at least, I think it does. That's why I picked the template I did. I did not design the blog ~ it's a template that I clicked on and it became "my blog." Really cool how people who have time help those of us with no time seem like we took a lot of time.... :)
#2: What I write on here isn't about trying to seem "religious" or "holier than thou" or anything like that. What I write on here are the thoughts of a woman who at any given moment has at least 10 times the amount of thoughts going through her head than what she actually shares, writes, says or does anything with. The "religious" things on here aren't about that ~ they're about who I wish I was more of. They're about who I long to be. My favorite quote (at the moment) is, "It's never too late to be what you always wished you were." So, to those of you who think this is just a "religious" thing, my greatest prayer is that what I have can be what you have and you'll one day understand it's so much more.
#3: Admittedly, when I take the time to write something here there are other things I could be doing; other people I could (should) be writing to, and other projects I should be working on, but when I write here it's out of necessity, not desire. Writing is what keeps me sane. Getting my feelings ~ no matter how messed up, hopeful or whatever ~ out on "paper" is like therapy to my mind...and my family because I'm more capable of handling two very active boys, a busy husband and a home that I wish was more in control than out.
#4: Just because I write on here and don't send you a personal note is not meant to be an insult to you. It is simply what it is....writing for my sanity in the hopes that someone will be encouraged, lifted up, challenged or even turned around through what I write. If you are insulted by whatever else I'm supposed to be doing but not getting done and equate the "amount of time" I put in to my blog as time that should be put elsewhere then I need to apologize for God who made me the way I am ~ faults and all ~ and needs for my sanity that may not be needs for your sanity. I appreciate those who know me and accept me for the person in process that I am. To you I say thank you from the bottom of my heart because you help me keep going when I look in the mirror that is my life at times and wish I was anyone else but me...I wish I was organized, on top of things, and whatever I see in all my friends and family that I want more of.
Some of you are probably going "huh?" I'm sorry for that...I just felt the need to explain that this is not a big deal for me to write something here ~ this post took all of 4 minutes ~ and that I am working toward taking care of my friendships as much as I take care of my own sanity. Thank you for the graciousness you extend to me in accepting me for me and knowing that just because I didn't send a Christmas card or even a picture of my boys or even an e-mail for 2 years (some of you longer!) doesn't mean you are not in my thoughts, my prayers and my heart every day.
Thanks for reading...
Sincerely,
Trayc
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